Evol-lover

Boyfriend, friends, sisters, nephews, dad,

every single person.

I’ve never met a stranger.

Job, work, other work.

Running, yoga, Cabernet.

Sleeping, shopping, picking out a cute outfit.

Apartment, home, cooking, baking.

Oats, cinnamon, sweets.

Oh the sauteed spinach

the garlic is golden.

Reading, summer, beaches

embracing the salty sea.

Traveling, flowers, flossing,

a new haircut.

Green to brown,

brown to green, changing eyes.

Long skinny fingers,

body.

Love myself.

 

 

 

 

PRAYER OF SURRENDER

PRAYER OF SURRENDER  (Pray this prayer when you are ready to experience intimacy with God, and hunger for a deeper relationship with Him. When you are ready  to understand fully His purpose and pla…

Source: PRAYER OF SURRENDER

Love Thought

Love is work. Love takes effort. Love is not a feeling but is a choice. One must love them self before they love another. Love requires time and patience. Love is special and worth the effort. Love is a higher intelligence. Love is finding yourself. Love is discovery. Love is dedication. Love is desire. Love is overcoming fear. Love is living in the moment; forgetting the past and ignoring thoughts about the future. Love is confidence. Love is delicate. Love is real. Love will make you feel alive.

Why Real Love Is So Difficult & Rare

What Is Real True Love?

We too often love things and use people when we should be using things and loving people.”

We have lost our sense of values: when your fence falls, you mend it; when your friendship fails, you run.” – Nathaniel Hawthorne

Real love is something we do. It is not a feeling; it is not primarily (or even secondarily) something we feel. Real love is about being loving much more than being loved.

If more people bought into this, practiced this, and lived this way, imagine how much better life would be.

But to be genuinely loving requires a lot of personal growth and inner rewiring on our part. It takes effort—real effort. It’s not easy. If becoming more loving were easy, then everyone would be doing it.

In order to become more genuinely loving we have to overcome some fairly daunting default wiring that focuses each of…

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Love

“The choice to love is a creative act which expresses not only the will but also intelligence and emotion. Thus love is the highest form of intelligence that we can experience” (Pierrakos 65)

AFFIRMATIONS TO MAKE LIFE WORK

Read in the morning and at night, whether you believe them or not

1.) I like myself unconditionally and I enjoy being the unique person that I am.

2.) I have ample leisure time and deserve to find, create and feel joy.

3.) I am a fallible human being, who makes mistakes.

4.) I am a worth-While and lovable human being

5.) I am completely self-determined and I give others the same right.

6.) I am a unique and precious human being… doing the best I can, growing in wisdom and love.

7.) I am in charge of my own life.

8.) My #1 responsibility is my own growth and well-being. The better I am to me, the better I will be to others.

9.) I make my own decisions and assume the responsibility of any consequences.

10.) I am not my actions. I am the actor. My actions may be good or bad. That doesn’t make me good or bad.

11.) I do not have to prove myself to anyone. I need only to express myself as honestly and effectively as I am capable.

12.) My emotional well being is dependent primarily on how I love me.

13.) I am kind and gentle towards me.

14.) I live a day at a time. Do first things first.

15.) I am patient and serene for I have the rest of my life in which to grow.

16.) Every experience I have in life ( even the unpleasant ones) contribute to my learning and growth.

17.) No one in the world is more important than I as a person.

18.) I have a right to take my space in this world.

19.) I am enough.

20.) I am loyal, forgiving and gentle to me.

21.) I now choose to love, to accept, to embrace and to fully appreciate myself unconditionally.

22.) I create my reality

Someone Who Can Look Me in My Eyes and Set My Soul on Fire

madsauceblog

I have been blessed with the best gift in the world; a soul mate. Someone who can look me in my eyes and set my soul on fire. I love him more than I love myself. He is perfect. The most smart, caring, best looking man I have ever met. A true gentleman who would do anything for any person at any given time. He is a helper and a fixer. He has shown me that love is actually a real thing. He has shown me that life is tough and when problems arise we are supposed to fix them and not run away from them. He has never given up on me and never will. He is the reason why all of this suppressed emotion has risen and is haunting me. It’s because I fell in love. I have been reintroduced into love. I am loved and I can…

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Someone Who Can Look Me in My Eyes and Set My Soul on Fire

I have been blessed with the best gift in the world; a soul mate. Someone who can look me in my eyes and set my soul on fire. I love him more than I love myself. He is perfect. The most smart, caring, best looking man I have ever met. A true gentleman who would do anything for any person at any given time. He is a helper and a fixer. He has shown me that love is actually a real thing. He has shown me that life is tough and when problems arise we are supposed to fix them and not run away from them. He has never given up on me and never will. He is the reason why all of this suppressed emotion has risen and is haunting me. It’s because I fell in love. I have been reintroduced into love. I am loved and I can love. For the first time in my life I have someone who looks at me and loves me for who I am. I have someone to talk to and someone who will listen to me. Someone who will never judge me. He is here for a reason and he is going to help me concur this battle and get the daemon inside of me, out. I have lost faith and trust in all of my relationships but he will give that back to me. He is going to help me. I will never expect him to understand anything that I have been through or am going through but he will always be there and that’s all that matters.

That time I burned my face off.

My face is scarred. I burned it lighting a gas stove that had a leak. My face blew up in heat. I was in shock. I remember screaming and the noise that came out was one I had never made before. I was in so much pain. I remember touching the top of my head and watching a large chunk of singed hair fall to the ground. My eyes burned. Saliva hurt my lips. I was so scared. My sister ran out and tried to help. We got in the car and sped to the hospital. Of course a cop come out and pulls us over because we are recklessly driving. He came over and took one good look and me and let us go. We ran into that hospital and I was in a room immediately. They put this wet cloth all over my face, covering my eyes too. They put me on an iv with morphine and increased the dose until I was completely numb. I wanted to die. My lips were burned. My eyebrows were off. Everything was stinging. The thought of having a deformed face was panicking. The local hospital couldn’t do much for me so within an hour they called an ambulance to ship me down to the burn specialist in Westchester. The ambulance ride was interesting.. not something I would put on my bucket list.. but a cool experience. My eyes were covered through it all so I lived like a blind person for 24 hours. I met several nurses and doctors and will never know what they looked like. I tried to imagine their appearance from their voice but I don’t think there is really any correlation. Anyways… traumatic experiences give you a sense of enlightenment. What doesn’t kill you makes your stronger.

What do you want?

I want my depression and anxiety gone. I want to wake up and feel alive again. I want to be the optimistic fun girl I used to be. I want my energy back. I want to belong. I want to be successful. I want my relationship with my boyfriend to heal and thrive. I want to make him happy. I want to feel pretty. I want to be confident again. I want to exercise more. I want to travel. I want to smile. I want to laugh so hard it hurts. I want to cry because I’m happy not because I’m sad.